Burden of Sacrifice
by HandfulOfHope
Summary: A serial killer, a harpoon and an exclamation of love were the perfect ingredients to take her away from him. She's sleeping deeply whilst he starts doubting himself, his friends and his sanity as he silently prays for revenge and her awakening. B/B sad
1. don't leave

What does Booth do after Brennan sacrifices her life to save his and falls into a deep coma? B/B  
**Disclaimer**: I own Bones, I own Tempe, I own the jeffersonians and agent Booth... yeah right...

**_Burden of Sacrifice_**

**Chapter One**  
**Don't leave**

It was here

It _had_ to be here

Booth got out of his car quickly and got his gun out in one swift movement. He gazed over at his partner who jumped out of the car and followed him into the abandoned warehouse. He threw her the weapon and pulled out his spare gun. He met her questioning gaze and sighed "This ain't no ordinary crook" he whispered huskily

Denzel Peters, a 41-year-old artist, had a rather extraordinary way to make sure his sculptures were anatomically correct. He would hunt down beautiful women. He collected them. Observed them. Tortured them. And when the sculpture was ready, he'd kill them. Ruthlessly. Baleful. He had made 36 casualties for as far as they knew and he had even written Brennan a letter once, telling her she would be his ultimate masterpiece someday

Booth would never forgive himself if Bones would ever fall into the hands of this lunatic, or in anyone else's hands for that matter. If something would ever happen to her. To _his_ Bones... No... No, he couldn't think like that. He _wouldn't_ think like that. Nothing would happen to her. Not for as long as he was around. He would guard her. He would protect _his_ Bones... He would...

"Booth. You ready?" She asked, staring at him expectantly. He nodded swiftly and made his way into the warehouse, feeling how Bones followed him closely

The place looked deserted. Though they knew better. They knew he was there, working his way through a chunk of marble. Or maybe he was with his latest acquisition to his collection, doing god knows what to her. Or maybe - just maybe - he was watching them, observing them from the darkness as they squirmed deeper into his territory, into his empire. Until they'd get to the heart of this sinister place, 'til they'd meet the _real_ Denzel Peters and got exposed to all his menacing plans and thoughts

There were no lights. Only the small amount of sunshine that penetrated through the dirty windows giving them any idea of where to set their feet, ofwhere to go.

They moved quickly. Their feet bringing them further as their eyes drifted through the darkness to find anything out of the ordinary. Booth was aware that he was holding his breath and he knew that the grip around his gun was a lot tighter than usual. But, something about the fact that this man had written his partner a letter, that he knew where she lived and the possibility that she was his next victim unnerved him. It unnerved him much more than it should.

He glanced over at the woman in question. She looked tired. He knew she hadn't slept a lot over the past few days. Catching this guy had been her top priority. Her _only_ priority. Finding out where he was and putting him behind bars were the only two things that kept her going these last two, long, tiring weeks filled with work, tears, bodies and a letter.  
Her normally beautiful, vivid brown hair was damped against her forehead - due to the heavy rain that fell down outside - and her eyes - oh those beautiful, azure-blue eyes – read only one emotion; _fear_  
She looked strong, sure, she looked coldblooded, unbreakable even, but he knew better. He knew _her_ better. And just by looking in her eyes he could see through those walls she had pulled up around her heart long ago and he saw how the fear was consuming her. Slowly. Unhurriedly.  
She tried to disguise it. Tried in vain to keep her shoulders straight, hold her head high and convince everyone – including herself – that she was fine.  
Who was she fooling?

They found a door. A metal slide gate with a lock on it. A soft thumping coming from behind it. Thumping and a cry, almost too faint to hear, but too important to miss  
They got it open without making a sound and as they made their way in they saw a seventeen year old girl cradled up in one of the corners of the room, scared that it was Peters who would enter. Booth couldn't help but notice the relieved smile coming to his partners face. He hadn't seen her smile in quite some time, she had been too busy, too concerned to bother. It was the first time in weeks that he had seen that sparkle in her eyes. The first time for far too long that he had even seen her lips in that position or have some colour back on her face.  
Oh god, she looked so beautiful

He got over to the girl and tried to sooth her by giving her his ID and telling her he was with the FBI and that they were going to get her out of here. He asked her to stay put and told her that reinforcements and an ambulance could be there any minute as he saw that their was another door in the room. He walked over to it, tightening the grip around his gun even more. He looked back at his partner, who held her gun just as tightly and nodded, letting him know she was ready

He kicked open the door with his foot, revealing the illuminated room filled with sculptures. The room was gigantic, though most of the room was filled with the lifelike statues of beautiful young women. They skimmed through the room and it appeared to be deserted, the murderer nowhere around

Bones nodded towards one of the statues "Libby Saunders" she said, utter disgust plastered on her face

He looked at the white stone and could see the resemblance with Peters' first victim, Libby. She was portrayed with snakes creeping around her,how very appropriate, since she worked in a zoo with reptiles. And it also explained why she was found dead due to being strangled and they had found snakebites all over her skin  
On his direct right stood the statue of Peters' 12th victim, Amy Libertine, a fire-fighter. In the statue she was literally fighting against the fire, flames resting in her hands and licking her legs... much to like they had found her body; carbonised.

He looked over at Brennan, who was warily observing the statues one by one, and Booth couldn't help but wonder what Peters would do to her if he'd ever get his hands on her... all of his statues were torn from a real life, whether it had to do with the woman's job or just a hobby, he had been able to portray and torture them at the same time in what they loved most. It unnerved him. Not only the fact that he turned the dreams of these girls into their nightmare, but that he had written that _Bones_ would be his masterpiece. What was he planning on doing to her? Her biggest love was her work, that wasn't really a secret, but what could he do with that?

"Booth" The concerned voice of his partner dragged him out of his train of his thoughts almost immediately and he looked over at her, an unimaginable angst that Peters had somehow gotten hold of her without him noticing going through him

"Yeah" he said, utterly relieved that she was still standing there, until he saw the anxious and scared expression on her face

"There are 41 statues here" she said and it took him a while to realise..

"But, we only found 36 bodies!" he said wide-eyed

5 girls... 5 more girls were out there somewhere, dead or alive. Oh god...

"Booth!" Bones suddenly screamed and jumped in front of him, holding him tightly

He heard a sound that he couldn't place and then heard his partner gasp. He felt her body go limp and had to use all his of his power to keep her up. It was like carrying someone who was asleep. Or with no strength at all. Or dead  
"Hey, Bones, are you okay?" he asked alarmed, and then felt something wet on his fingers  
He looked at his hand that had been supporting her back.  
He didn't recognize it. He couldn't recognize it. It was red, bright red.  
"Oh God" he said and felt sick

She was breathing heavily and he laid her down on her side. A metal spear stuck through her, the point of the spike right underneath her right breast, the metal cylinder sticking out of her back "God damnit, Bones.." he said softly, stroking some hair out of her face as she looked up at him

"Booby-trap" she whispered and nodded towards the harpoon and then towards the fishing line Booth had stepped on

"you should have just pushed me away" he said, tears stinging his eyes

"No time" she mumbled, her eyes fluttering open and shut  
"Do me a fever, will you..." Brennan said, her voice merely above a whispered

"What's that?" he asked, looking around helplessly. _Where the hell's the damn backup when you need them?_

"Grab the damn bastard, will you?"

"It's _catch_, Bones... _catch_ the damn bastard" he said, cracking into a small smile as he caressed a few more wild locks out of her face

"Okay... you go _catch_ him..." she said, and coughed up some blood

"We'll catch him together, Bones" he said, taking hold of her hand and pressing a kiss on her knuckles

"Of course we will" she said, smiling. Atear slipped from her eye  
"I love you, Seeley Booth" she said sincerely

He stared at her surprised, always had he thought that she didn't believe in love, and if she did, that she would never feel it for him... and yet, she did just confess it "I love you too" he said, pressing his lips against hers for the first and last time. Tears rolled down his face and he broke the kiss. She looked so happy, as if she was just a bit tired, would go to sleep and wake up in a few hours, like nothing ever happened

"Bye Booth" she said and closed her eyes

"No... Bones..." he said. A sob left his mouth as he pushed his fingers against her throat as he desperately tried to find a pulse "Please, Tempe... please..." he pleaded, shaking his head "Please, don't leave..." he said, taking her lifeless body in a tight embrace and starting to sob hysterically

"Bones..."


	2. your fault

What does Booth do after Brennan sacrifices her life to save his and falls into a deep coma? B/B  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Bones (though I'd like to believe I do)

* * *

_**Chapter Two**  
**Your fault**_

* * *

Booth sat down in a metal chair, his head in his hands as tears fell down freely. He didn't know for how long he sat there, didn't _want_ to know.  
He was at the hospital. _Bones_ was at the hospital. That was all he knew. All he needed to know. That and the fact that he would make sure that she would never_ ever_ leave her lab again when she got through this... _If _she got through this.. Oh god, he would never forgive himself if she'd die, wouldn't even forgive himself if she wouldn't turn out to be the same irritating, squinty, over-intelligent, maddening, _wonderful_ woman he remembered her to be

The only thing he could register now were the doctors and nurses running in and out of the operation room where he knew his partner was laying on the table. Cut open... Fighting for her life... _He_ should be fighting for _his_ life...

_STOP IT!_ His mind screamed, but he couldn't help it. She _did_ sacrifice her life for him, he _should_ feel responsible for this

No. No, _he_ wasn't responsible for any of this. It was Peters' fault. All of it. He would kill him. He would hunt him down and then drain all the life out of him. Slowly. Painfully. Just like Booth would come to his end if he would have to face a life without his Bones. Died of a broken heart... over years and years...

A nurse carrying a few bags of red blood ran into the OR... How much blood had they given her already? Oh god, he couldn't even think about that. She came back out with a pile of empty ones and she noticed him sitting there so miserably and she gave him a consoling smile  
hm... those smiles reminded him of the ones Angela sometimes gave him when Bones would say that she didn't 'know what that means' and he smiled softly at the memory, tears stinging his eyes as he could still hear her say those words clearly...

_Angela!_ His mind screamed and he jumped up and started pacing. How was he going to explain this to Angela? How was he going to explain this to _any_ of the squints... or her family... or the fans of her books... or the parents of their next case who'd expect that their daughter would get the best damn team to solve her murder? Because, without Bones, the squints weren't a team, without her it would be impossible to be a team, she _was_ the team

He got out his phone, thinking that Angela would appreciate it to hear this from first hand rather than to see it on the news or something. He started dialling a number and then realized that he didn't even know what Angela's number was.. _then what number am I calling?_ He looked at the numbers and recognized them immediately. _Bones_ he thought

He took Brennan's purse which was lying next to him. He had taken it with him, thinking that she'd want to have it with her when she awoke. He started rummaging through it, imagining how Bones would scoff at him, telling him that the chance that she'd wake any time soon was remarkably small and that it was illogical to ask something as irrelevant as a purse when you just woke up from a spear that had been pulled out of your body. He found the phone, but let the dialogue play further in his mind, finding it a bit soothing. He would ask her what she would ask for and she would give him an answer that would make him laugh, like... chocolate and then she would start rambling about that it would be perfectly normal to be hungry.. and he would cut her off by pressing his lips against hers, knowing now that she wouldn't pull away because she loved him too...

He sobbed softly, thinking back about that being her last words, how she had looked so content when he had kissed her, like a dream that had finally been fulfilled... He looked back at the phone and tried to find Angela's number, which wasn't too hard. It was on speed dial, on second place, right after _his_ number

"You better be calling me because you just had amazing sex with Booth and want to tell me every hot, steamy detail of it" Angela's groggily voice sounded through the phone and Booth realized that he had woken her, _what time was it? 2 am?_

"Angela.." He managed to get out

"Booth?" Angela asked. He could hear her get out of bed and hear Hodgins mumble something incoherent. "What are you doing with Brennan's phone? I wouldn't think you'd be the one calling me to tell me how great the sex was" she said and he could practically _hear_ her smirk. He knew that she was only trying to provoke him into admitting his feeling towards Bones, but at the moment, the comment just made him want to cry, knowing that there was a pretty big chance he would never be able to experience amazing sex with the woman he loved.  
"Booth?" Angela asked, clearly concerned by the fact that he didn't even protest "What's wrong?" she asked

Booth blinked away the tears starting in his eyes and he inhaled deep, finding it hard to say anything at all

"Is Brennan okay?" she asked

_No, she's not okay_ He thought, but couldn't get the words over his lips, scared that if he said it, it would make all this more real

"Is she hurt?" she asked anxiously

"Yes..." he finally choked out, a tear escaping his eye

"Oh god" he heard her whisper "but she'll be okay, right?" she asked

_almost certainly not_ was the truth, but somehow, that sounded too cruel to be said, though that was the same thing the doctors had told him "I don't know" he finally said

"How do you mean you don't know!" Angela yelled through the phone. In the three years he'd been working with Brennan and the other squints, he had never seen Angela have an outburst... or be utterly mad, for that matter

"She's uhm... she's still in surgery" he said

"What happened?"

"She was shot..." he said, conveniently letting out the part where she had jumped in front of him to save him or the fact that there was a harpoon involved

"Okay, that's it, I'm coming down" she said

"Angela, I'm not in DC" he grunted tiredly

"So, I'm coming over..."

"It's a three-hour drive..." he said. He looked around the hallway and saw how the doctor who'd been operating on Bones left the OR and walked over at him in a steady pace

"I don't care, Booth, I-" Angela began, but was cut off by Booth

"I'll talk to you later, okay" Booth said and quickly closed his phone whilst standing up for the doctor, staring at him hopefully before noticing the discouraging look that rested on the doctors face "And?" Booth asked, fearing for the worst

The elderly man looked down at his feet and Booth's heart dropped. _oh god, she couldn't be..._

"We did everything we could" he said softly and didn't dare look him in the eyes

the man's words pierced through his whole body and he fell back on his chair "She's..." he began, but found no strength to say that she didn't make it. That she was dead. "She's gone?" he finally choked out, trying hard to stop the tears that stung his eyes from falling

"She isn't dead, if that's what you're referring to" the man said, and Booth's head snapped up, despair replaced by anger now

"What _else_ could I be referring to?" Booth sneered

"She's not dead, agent Booth, that doesn't mean that she's alive" the doctor said, turning around and motioning for Booth to follow him

"What the _hell_ are you talking about?" Booth asked, standing up and following the man through the wards

"Doctor Brennan was dead for over 7 minutes, agent Booth. It's a miracle she survived in the first place. But, due to hypoxia, her brain got affected, and she is in somnolence right now..." the man said in a professional tone

"I'm sorry, maybe you misunderstood the situation here. I'm the cop, not the doctor, Bones is the doctor, she'd know what you're saying, _not_ me. I don't understand anything of your jabbering..." Booth said annoyed, knowing fully well that he shouldn't be working out his frustrations on the doctor in front of him

The man didn't really look too impressed and opened the door in front of them. The room was completely white, the walls, the curtains of the single window and the sheets of the bed. All bright and clean. And in the bed, the clean bed, lay a woman...

Booth ran over to the bed and took her hand. "Bones" he said softly, squeezing her hand tenderly and noticing how cold it was

"She's in a coma, agent Booth. Maybe we did manage to revive her, but there is a possibility that she'll never wake up" The doctor said in a professional way

"Oh Bones" Booth whispered, pressing his lips against her knuckles and caressing some hair out of her face. He acknowledged the doctor completely now, the only thing that mattered to him was his Bones, his beautiful Bones, lying in front of him oh so peacefully

He settled himself next to her on the bed, making sure he didn't sit on any of the wires attached to her still form and he stared at her, rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb. He didn't say a thing while sitting there, staring at his partner's lifeless form and he quietly listened to the steady beeping coming from the monitors which told him she was alive. He had never been so happy to hear such an annoying beeping

A sound from the door pulled him out of his numb state, and he looked up slowly at the woman who stared at him. She looked pale, so pale. The vivid woman, always looking happy and cheerful, was replaced by a woman he hardly recognized. A woman who's eyes darted between him and the woman lying next to him, her bottom lip trembling dangerously, her body shaking out of fear  
"Angela" he said in such a low voice that he wondered if she heard him, or wanted to hear him for that fact

He wondered how long he'd been sitting there like that. _At least 3 hours_, he realized, knowing that they weren't in DC and that the traffic was jammed at this hour of the day

She took a step forward, her eyes still jumping from Brennan, to him, to his Bones again. "What..." she managed to get out and finally stared in his eyes without looking away again. Oh, she looked so scared. She looked so _God. Damn_. _Scared._

"She's in a coma" Booth said, with a new found strength that came out of nowhere "she might not wake up" he added softly

"She..." Oh, she looked so lost. She looked so much like he felt. Lost. Afraid. Confused ...Hurt... and he didn't know what to do about it. couldn't think of what to do. Oh, how he wished his Bones was there, his muse, whispering in his ear what to say to make this right again

"We went to rescue a girl, after Bones found a clue... there was a trap" he said, looking down, trying to control a sob that was forming in his throat

Silence

She didn't answer  
Didn't she know what to say? Did she walk away? Was she crying? The questions flew through his head, but he didn't look up. Didn't _dare_ look up. Didn't have the guts to face what was due to come

He cursed himself for being such a coward. He cursed himself because he knew that that's what Brennan would do, curse and mock him... or maybe she'd just laugh at him... point out that he was scared of a girl who was against all sorts of violence and aggression

He looked up, telling himself that he would have to talk to her sooner or later, but before he could open his mouth or even register her appearance, he felt how her hand connected with his cheek and he took a step back, his hand placed protectively against his tingling skin

She looked between furious and devastated. Her hands were formed into fists, her body shaking slightly, her teeth clenched against each other to keep herself from giving him another blow. Tears falling freely to complete the picture.

A sob escaped her lips and she hit him against the chest. She tried to hit him again, but this time it was softer, her miserable self unable to stay strong and the sobs that came out of her mouth became louder and harder to hold back "This is your fault..." she managed to say, hitting him again and again

He raised his hands to take her wrists and stop her, but he couldn't. Couldn't bring himself to justify himself, because deep inside, he felt the same way, so he lowered his hands again, taking in all of her hits, all of her accusations, all of the pain...

"You should've never..." she choked out a sob "_Ever_ taken her out on the field..." she said, hitting his chest again "You should've told her you didn't want her to ever leave the Jeffersonian's..." another hit "You should've told her how..." another cry left her mouth, delaying her little speech for a while "You should've told her how much you cared..." she ended and made a weak attempt to hit him again, but instead crashed against his chest, taking a handful of his shirt and sobbing hysterically

His arms flew around her, rocking her softly in his tight embrace. He wanted to say something. Wanted to say that everything was going to be alright, that Brennan knew how much he cared, _anything_, he wanted to say _anything_. But, as he opened his mouth to say something the only thing that left his mouth was a sob.

And that's how Hodgins found them, standing in the middle of the room, crying softly, entangled in a hug in an attempt to find some comfort from one another. Both didn't know what to say, and for that reason didn't speak a word, the steady sound of a metallic beeping linger in the room, reminding both of them that Brennan was still there

_Their_ Brennan

_His_ Bones


	3. Allonsy

_**Disclaimer:**_ _I do not own Bones... sniff, sniff_

_**AN: **Okay, I know, I know, it's been like... forever since I updated, and there's no way to make it up to you.. well, except maybe the cookies I'll give to the ones who'll let me know they've waited for little ol' me and that I made sure this chap is extra long, with fluff! (amazing really)... Anyway, one of the many reasons why I didn't update sooner is because my computer broke down.. I **hate** it when that happens. Then, you also have the fact that I was drowning in schoolwork and exams and I had two plays to study and.. ugh, don't get me started on the rest... **BUT** that's all over now, and I can freely write away again. Now, I'll stop boring you with my unnecessary babbling and leave you to the story, if you still want to read it of course._

_**AN2:**_ _I'm pissed at the fact that they got rid of Zack and I **refuse**__ to write about Zack as a murderer, as you'll notice :p_

* * *

_**Chapter Three  
Allons-y**_

Standing in front of her office he realized how real all of this was. How intoxicatingly real.

It had looked easy when he had left the hospital this morning. Pick up Zack – who had license nor car –, pack a suitcase so he could stay in a hotel near her hospital, and get the case file. His suitcase was ready. That had been the easiest of the three. Zack was here somewhere… but Booth wasn't too eager to find him yet.  
And then there was the file.  
That damn file!  
The case that rested in one of her drawers, a case filled with papers about Denzel Peters and his 'work'. He still grimaced at the thought that his Bones would be in it now. He'd wanted to keep her as far away from this creep as possible, had obliged himself to. Now, he realized yet again that he had failed.  
She was merely more than a few papers in a file of a psycho now... His beautiful Bones, just a piece of evidence, a body, barely more than some remains…

He knew he should just turn into 'coldblooded agent Booth' – who he used when interrogating criminals or chasing them – and walk in there, get the file and catch this bastard. But somehow _agent_ Booth was nowhere to be found, leaving 'emotional Seeley' – who he normally kept buried deep and only came out on special occasions, or for special persons… like his Bones – behind.

This was ridiculous! He was a grown man, he shouldn't be scared of walking into a room. An _empty_ room! A room which belonged to his partner. To a woman he loved and hated so much at the same time that it made him question his sanity. To a woman who had won his respect, confident and more. Much more. _Oh, Brennan, why did you save me?_

_Okay, that's it!_ He took the handle quickly and swayed the door open. He was determent. He had to be. He would go to her desk, get the file, get out and _never_ go back in there… not without his Bones.

First step, _so far so good!_ He imagined her sitting at her desk, working on a case or her new book without knowing that he was watching her, like he did so often.

Second step, _keep going! _He saw her standing in front of her bookcase, searching for a book with pictures to show him what she meant exactly, babbling scientific references – which he wouldn't understand even if he wanted to – as she flipped through the pages

third step, _you can do this!_ … or lying on her couch, her nose wrinkled up in that cute way that he adored whenever she was dreaming, kicking the blankets off of her as soon he had tugged her in and kissed her forehead. A habit he had secretly developed every time he found her like that.

_I can't do this…_

He could hear her laughter. Her humming that had always been there when she thought that she was alone. Her shrieks that would fill the room when he dragged her out of her office, telling her she needed to go home or eat. And those three words… 'I love you' … those three words, said between sobs and shaky breaths and blood and tears. Those words which would haunt him for the rest of his life.

He imagined that that made it even harder. That he'd hate himself even more because of that. Knowing that he could have had her. If he had just… if he had told her how he felt before… if he had told her sooner, he could have hold her. Touched her. Kissed her. Felt her… like he had dreamed. Like he had desired and forbid himself. If he hadn't been such a _coward_ he would at least have that memory to treasure. That fantasy which had become much more than just a dream. He could've had it all, could've had Brennan and that life he desired. He could've tried harder to keep her away from danger, and she would've listened, because she loved him…  
No. No, she wouldn't have listened, she would be as stubborn and gorgeously fuming as always. But then he would've pushed her against the nearest wall, would've kissed her until she was too tired to bicker…

_I'm so sorry, Bones_

"Agent Booth?" came a voice from behind him. Booth turned around quickly as he tried to hold back the tears forming in his eyes. '_wimp' _a mocking voice in his head said, a voice that reminded him a lot of a certain anthropologist.  
He recognized he was staring at Zack, though his sight was blurry by the tears which threatened to fall. He wondered how much a man could cry. Or at least in one day, or week… it hadn't even been a week, it had merely been over a day and it already felt like an eternity to him. He was sure that he was close to the world record 'longest cry session ever'. And he _hated_ crying. Of course he had told his Bones that crying once in a while was normal and healthy, but he hated doing it himself, he couldn't even remember crying as much as he did now. Not even when his grandmother had died. And Bones was just… sleeping. What would he do if she- _shut up, shut up, shut up! Don't even think about it! She is **not**__going to die! She's not!_ "Are you alright, agent Booth?" Zack asked, pulling Booth out of his train of thoughts

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine" Booth said, blinking away the tears "What are you doing here?" he asked, clearing his throat

"I _work_ here, agent Booth" Zack said. The constant use of his name getting on his nerves

"_Not_ in this office, now do you?" Irritation replacing sadness for just a slight moment. Zack shook his head, looking down. "Good" Booth sneered, forgetting that he wasn't the only one who cared about Brennan. Wasn't the only who was suffering from this. He saw the flash of utter desolation cover the boy's features and Booth felt guilty immediately "I uhm…" he cleared his throat, "I'm looking for the case.." he said, trying to change the topic

Zack nodded, sorrow replaced by sympathy and understanding. "Do you… want my help?" he asked

"Nah. Just… just make sure you're at my car with your squint.. stuff in five. I'll meet you there" Booth said, trying hard to stay strong in front of the boy who looked as uncomfortable in this office as he did.

With a quick nod and some rambling about what else he would do in those five minutes, he let Booth be, who was back to his bedazzled state, his eyes wandering around the office.

It still held her scent. Rose blossom and lemon grass. The perfume he had given her for no particular occasion. It was sweet but strong, delightful but vivid. Just like his Bones.

He tried to swallow away the crop in his throat and walked over to the desk, forcing the memories of her into the back of his mind. He could weep later, emotions could wait. He still had a bastard to catch.  
He walked over to the desk, threw open the first drawer and started rummaging through it.

Nothing.

Next drawer. Old files. A book about bones… hmm…

He took it and started paging through it, trying to shake off the feeling of betrayal of walking into _her_ office – her territory – when she wasn't there.

photos?

He took the photos and studied them, one by one. It were all photos of her, him and Parker smiling like nothing else in the world mattered but the fun they had together, that nothing could ever take those happy memories away from them, memories of eating cotton candy together, winning fluffed toys for each other or just laughing at each other because of how silly they looked in the buckled mirrors…  
God, he remembered that day.  
That had been one good day, though he had to admit that the most of his days of the last few years were good.. Oh how he wished he could go back to that day, before all this…

_"Come on, Bones! We're gonna be late!" Booth yelled, knocking on her door once again_

_"I'm coming, I'm coming!" came a muffled reply from the other side_

_"Yeah, well hurry up!"_

_"Why all the fuss? We're going to a carnival, they're not running away or anything" Brennan commented, her frustration noticeable even through the thick, wooden door_

_"Because I have to drop off Parker at Rebecca's place at seven, so we only have a little over…" he looked up, counting on his fingers_

_"four hours" Brennan said_

_"I knew that" Booth said childishly "I was just about to say that… but anyway, if you don't hurry up it'll be four **minutes** in stead of hours…"_

_"Well, it would've helped if you'd asked me yesterday at work, in stead of trying to abduct me out of my apartment, knowing very well that I wouldn't be able to say no to Parker.. with his charm smile" she added, as he heard her rummaging through her narcotics_

_"What can I say, it's genetic" Booth joked. He knew that she couldn't resist it, and though he knew that no one could resist that little blond boy, he preferred to believe that he had a special effect on his Bones because Parker reminded her of him_

_"but still, you could've had the decency to **ask** me, you know, the thing that **polite** people do?" came the annoyed reply_

_"Would you have come if I'd asked?" Booth asked, though he already knew the answer_

_A silence replaced the nasty comments that Brennan had been throwing at him, letting him know that she was really contemplating it. Finally, she said "No" and Booth couldn't help but smile at her blunt honesty "But that's not the point…"_

_"Then what is?" Booth asked_

_Another silence_

_"Well, for starters, that you used your son to make me go with you, then you also have the fact that this is supposed to be your day with **Parker**, **not**__ ours.." He opened his mouth to argue about that, but she cut him off "He's your son, Booth, you're happy when you're spending time with him, I know you are. You deserve to be happy." He heard her say, the softness of her voice surprising him, her words and sincerity touching him deeply._

_"Bones…" he said, resting his head against the door, "this **is** our day, whatever you may think. It **is** ours; yours, mine and Parker's. And you're right, this **is** supposed to be my day, and I **am** happy when I'm spending time with Parker.. but, he isn't the only one I love spending time with" he said slowly, waiting for the words to break through her walls, make her understand what he was saying_

_When she didn't reply, he went on, knowing that she wouldn't know how to reply to something like that, and that she was mentally fighting with herself whether she should open the door and kick his ass or run as far away as possible "I-ah… I love spending time with you, Bones. And I think you do too, somewhere deep down…" he said, smiling_

_Still no reply_

_"I'm not the only one who deserves to be happy, Temperance"_

_"I…" the closeness of her voice startled him, and he imagined her head resting on the exact opposite spot of the door "I… I do love associating with you… it's very… productive…" Normally her word choice would have irritated him to hell, but now he couldn't do anything but smile, It was so like his Bones to start rambling in her own squinty language when she was getting all emotional, something which people would describe as abnormal and odd, but he wouldn't want to change it for the world. He was only listening half to what she was saying, not understanding half of what she was rambling "… helped our partnership that we urbanized this camaraderie, and to preserve that amity we need to extend our engagements beside work and…"_

_"Bones" Booth cut her off, knowing full well that she'd be able to ramble like this for the next 4 hours easily " just repeat after me; 'Booth, I'd love to go to the carnival with you'"_

_"…and Parker" she added hesitantly_

_"And parker" Booth said, smiling "Great, or else I'd have to explain Parker why the charm smile I taught him didn't work" he joked, turning their talk into the light mood he loved_

_Brennan finally walked out of the room slowly. Her hair was down and still damp because of the quick shower she had taken and she was wearing just a slight touch of make up. just as he liked it. She was wearing a black tank top and denim jeans showing off her well formed figure. "Wow" was all he managed to say_

_Brennan's eyebrows cocked up surprised "Wow?" she asked mockingly before making her way over to her kitchen_

_"Why don't you ever wear this for me?" he asked, following her without even thinking about it, a smug smile plastered on his lips_

_"Yeah, you're right, I **should** wear this on a crime scene or in the FBI-building crammed with testosterone-filled Alfa males" Brennan commented, making the corners of Booth's mouth drop almost immediately_

_"On second thoughts, why don't you stick to your boring outfits" Booth said, winching slightly when Brennan smacked him on the arm hard_

_"I do **not** have boring fashion taste"_

_"No, it just all looks like one another"_

_"my wardrobe isn't monotone!"_

_"Yes it is!" Booth commented childishly_

_"Einstein didn't have any differences in his wardrobe! Just so he wouldn't have to lose time by picking his outfit in the morning. So actually my monotone dressing code just accentuates my geniality" Brennan said smugly_

_"You can say whatever you want, Bones, but it's still boring"_

_Brennan pointed her index finger at him heatedly and opened her mouth to say something when a flash startled them both_

_Parker stood there, a camera clutched in his hands, giggling at the bemused looks the adults were giving him "Parker!" they said at the same time, their bickering long forgotten by now_

_"Can we go?" the little boy whined, as Booth took the camera from him and ruffled his hair_

_"Of course, bud" Booth said, smiling_

_"__Allons__-y" Brennan said, getting two pairs of questionable eyes on her "What" she asked, feeling uncomfortable under their gazes_

_"What's Allo… Allony?" Parker asked_

_"It's French"_

_"What does it mean?" Booth asked_

_Brennan gave him the 'I can't believe you don't know that'-look and took her purse before walking over to her front door "It means.." she began, opening the door "Let's go"_

* * *

_"ah, come on, Bones, you gotta be kidding me. Never?" Booth asked, staring at his partner in disbelieve_

_"No, Booth, I have never been to a funfair before" Brennan said, frowning "why is that so hard to believe?"_

_"You've never eaten cotton candy?" Parker asked, staring at Brennan incredulously as she shook her head "Or – or hooked for ducks?"_

_Brennan wrinkled her nose in frustration as her eyes darted from Booth to his son "I don't know what that means"_

_Booth chuckled as he saw the incredulous look on his son's face and threw his arm over his partner's shoulders "You fish after rubber ducks, Bones, and you can win a prize…"_

_"How?"_

_"How?" Booth repeated_

_"Yes, how can you win a prize? What are the rules?"_

_"Bones, it's a kid's game, there are no rules" Booth said, smiling_

_"Oh" Was the only thing Brennan could reply, the frown still plastered between her brows_

_"How about the big wheel? You must've been on the big wheel before!" Parker leaped in, pulling at Brennan's sleeve anxiously_

_"What's the big wheel?" Brennan asked frowning. she stared at Booth expectantly, hoping that he'd explain it to her, but he only laughed_

_She heard Parker grunt tiredly beside her and felt how Booth placed his hands on her shoulders, twirling her around._

_She stared at the enormous wheel in front of her, her mouth hanging open slightly, her eyes wide. "**That's** the big wheel" Booth whispered and Brennan shivered at the closeness of his voice._

_"Oh" was the only thing she could come up with again and she could hear him chuckle softly. She could feel his chin rest on her shoulder, his warm breath caress the skin of her neck, leaving goose bumps behind. His hands had dropped to her waist, guiding her forward towards the cabinet waiting for them, inviting them, awaiting to give her an experience she'd never forget._

* * *

_"I told you I was good, Booth" Brennan scoffed, making her way over to Booth's SUV with cotton candy in her one hand and the hand of a very tired-looking blond boy in the other. "You just decided not to believe me…"_

_"Bones, it's tradition for the boy to win a stuffed doll for the girl, it's just something people do" Booth said, sighing. He tried to adjust the stuffed animals and Parker's new goldfish in a way so he wouldn't drop everything for the uhmpest time as he watched in awe how his partner and son shared cotton candy like mother and son would "I never said you had to prove yourself" he mumbled_

_He heard her laugh which made his heart skip a beat and didn't even care he had to pick up the doll he had dropped "Booth, you were the one who wanted to make a competition out of it" Brennan said, smiling "You just can't handle the fact that I beat you at your own game" she said smugly_

_"Only because you cheated!"_

_"I did **not** cheat" Brennan said, sounding offended_

_"Yes, you did"_

_"Did not!"_

_"You distracted me, if you hadn't, I would've shot the target for sure, in stead of the owner…"_

_He heard his partner laugh again and she asked "How's the eye by the way?" and Booth subconsciously brought his hand towards the eye which the owner had hit, dropping a doll in the process_

_"Yeah, thanks a lot for that, Bones" Booth said, grimacing_

_"'s your own fault" Parker said, eating the last bits of their sugar cotton._

_"Wha… See Bones! You even put my own son up against me!" Booth said_

_"He's not **against**__ you, Booth. He's just stating the facts" Bones said_

_"What **facts**?" Booth asked, irritated_

_"Well, for starters that I wouldn't have distracted you if you hadn't tried to distract me by tickling me.." She looked down as she felt how Parker was pulling her hand repetitively "What's wrong, honey" she asked sweetly, kneeling down next to him_

_"I'm tired" he said and yawned_

_"Well, the car isn't that far away anymore, okay? Just a few more steps" Brennan reassured him, caressing some wild curls out of the boy's face_

_"Can you carry me, doctor Bones?" Parker asked, pouting at her and holding out his arms to her._

_Bones' eyes jumped uncertainly from the car to the little boy in front of her and opened her mouth when Booth chipped in "Come on, Parker, you're a big boy, you can walk that little bit, can't you?"_

_"But daddy…" the boy whined_

_"Parker." Booth warned_

_"It's okay, Booth" Brennan said, trying to look at her partner reassuringly, though Booth could tell that she wasn't comfortable with the idea at all "I'll… I'll carry him" she said hesitantly_

_She settled the little boy on her hip and he threw his arms around her neck instinctively and rested his head on her shoulder "thank you, doctor Bones" he whispered softly "You're the best" he mumbled and then closed his eyes_

_The rest of their walk towards the car was silent and they let him sleep, Booth adoring the sight of the two of them as he watched them out of the corner of his eyes_

_After finally arriving at the car, getting all their prises in the trunk and when Parker and Bones' enormous stuffed bear were buckled in they started their drive back home. Brennan sat in the back with Parker since the passenger seat was occupied by Brennan's bear and, though Parker was fast asleep, the two partners were in yet another argument. "I didn't cheat, Booth, you started it!"_

_"I **tickled**__ you, I didn't **blow** into your **ear**" he said_

_"you're such a bad looser, Booth… You know that isn't really a great example for your son, now don't you"_

_"**I**'m not a bad looser, **you**'re a cheater"_

_"I'm not!"_

_"Besides, it doesn't matter, I'm a great looser, I can handle my loss… even if you cheated" Booth said_

_"I didn't-"_

_"I was just trying to do something nice, Bones, you know, the traditional 'boy wins something for the girl'-thing" Booth said sincerely, sounding a little bit hurt_

_He felt how she placed her hand on his shoulder and squeezed it slightly "You know…" she began and Booth jumped at the closeness of her voice. "I'm not really good with traditions, Booth" Brennan said, her voice filled with the same sincerity and tenderness as his had been. She didn't say it to annoy or anger him, or to talk herself out of argument. She sounded earnest, regretful even, and Booth felt a pang of guilt run through him._

_"Well, you know Bones, that's part of what I like about you" he began, and he felt how she let go of his shoulder as she leant back into her seat and Booth could just imagine how that crease would be plastered between her brows, that crease he loved and adored every time she was thinking "You are so smart, Bones…" he said and shook his head, his eyes fixated on the road "and yet, you still have **so**__ much to learn" he said, his voice adapting a teasing tone , lightening the mood instantly_

_"Booth, you can't be **taught** traditions, it are merely occasions which have become rusted into our society because of the common use…" Brennan said, back in tow with her over-analyzing mind "Take Christmas for instance, the use of a Christmas tree with lights in it is originally used at the pagans in European Pre-Christian cultures, who lit up trees, well actually burned them, to keep the dark spirits in the forests away in the darkest time of the year…"_

_"Right Bones, let's stop wrecking my religion, okay?" Booth chipped in_

_"I was just trying to say that traditions are based on occasional usage of people in your environment and you just adapt those habits to your own norms and standards and call them traditions" Brennan rattled on_

_"Yeah, and you just broke mine" Booth said, and quickly gazed over to the bear buckled in next to him_

_"You can have mine if you want" Brennan offered nonchalantly_

_"…what?"_

_"The bear. You can have it… let's say it's a traditional 'girl wins something for the boy' kind of thing" Brennan said and Booth stared at her through the rear-view mirror as she looked back_

_"there isn't a tradition like that…" Booth said, raising his eyebrow at her_

_She folded her arms in front of her and pouted slightly as she looked outside the window "maybe there should be…" she said "We could start the tradition though… you know, adapt traditions to make your own…" Brennan said_

_"No Bones, **not** going to happen" Booth said_

_"Why not?" Brennan asked_

_"Because… just because! I already have my traditions, and I'm not changing them" Booth said and shook his head as he looked at the road "…making my own traditions" he muttered under his breath incredulously_

_"Well, I'm not taking the bear" Brennan suddenly said_

_"me neither" Booth said, a bit baffled_

_"I'm leaving it with you"_

_"I'll give it to Parker" Booth shot back_

_"You do that"_

_"I will"_

_"fine"_

_"better than fine"_

_"great!"_

_"**fantastic!**"_

_She muttered something about Alfa-male tendencies and leant back into her seat as far as she could, jumping up as Parker mumbled something under his breath and rested his head against her. After getting over the shock she automatically draped her arm around the boy's shoulders and planted a kiss on his hair, oblivious to Booth's observing stare._

_She met his eyes in the rear-view mirror as if she had known he had been watching her and he quickly looked back at the road, clearing his throat to try and get rid of the feeling in his gut. The feeling he always had when he saw how his partner and son interacted. With any other woman he would have been glad to have that feeling, he would follow his gut directly if it were any other girl, trust his gut blindly. Now, however, he had to try his best to control those feelings, knowing that with this woman, his partner, friend and much, much more, this wasn't a good feeling, that he couldn't interact on those feelings without getting his ass kicked or making her run away. There was too much at stake, too much to lose… Nope, not a good feeling at all._

_He had been so deep in thoughts that he hadn't even realized it when he turned into her street. He stopped the car in front of her apartment and waited for her to get out. When she didn't, he turned in his seat and stared in awe at the scenery in front of him._

_He took the camera, lying next to his feet and snapped a picture of his partner and son. They were both asleep, Brennan's arm still draped over Parker's shoulders, his head resting on her shoulder as her cheek rested on his head. Their eyes were closed and they both looked so peacefully, so different from when they were awake. Booth wanted to remember this image forever and he promised himself he would get a copy of this photo before Brennan would even have the opportunity to erase it._

_He stepped out of the car and opened the door of the backseat, unbuckling his partner. He was surprised how deeply she was asleep and didn't even open her eyes when he got her out of the car and adjusted her in his arms. He held her in a bridal kind of way, his one arm under her knees, the other supporting her back and shoulders. She had slung her arms around his neck without waking up, much to Booth's relief_

_It had been a real challenge to get her keys out, open the door of her apartment and getting her into bed without waking her, but, after what felt like eternity to Booth, he succeeded and he pulled the covers over her body as she cocooned herself in them. He turned around to leave, only to stop when he heard her mumble something, only picking up his own name in the incoherent drabble. He turned back round to find her still asleep and he was so relieved she hadn't caught him in her bedroom.  
He walked back over to the bed, kneeling down next to her sleeping form. He stared at her beautiful face and noticed the small frown between her brows. He smiled to himself. She was dreaming. And he was in it._

_He wondered what she was dreaming about, wondered if he was in her dream, or if she said his name because he wasn't… he'd never know, maybe she was even having a nightmare, dreaming about the murderer of Libby Saunders, who's body they had found yesterday, snakebites all over her naked body… The first of many bodies yet to come…_

_He shook his head, trying to get the horrible images of the harassed 21-yearold or her crying mother out of his head. Without success. He sighed, hoping that she wasn't dreaming about that, wasn't dreaming about her work or the horrid places where that girl had been before waiting for Brennan in a cooler, waiting for **them** to solve her murder._

_He was pulled back into reality as he heard his partner moan softly. Oh, he loved the sound of that, though he knew it was a forbidden thought. The frown had become deeper and Booth wanted to do nothing but kiss it away and pull her close to him, never letting go of her again. Instead he placed a soft kiss on her forehead, burying those thoughts deep inside of him and whispered "sweet dreams, Bones" softly and quickly got out, knowing that if he lingered there for a moment longer he wouldn't be able to leave. He walked over to his car and smiled as he stared at the bear still sitting in the passenger seat. Though he had said he didn't accept her gift, he knew full well that the bear wasn't going to be sleeping in his son's room tonight. Or any other night. Not that he would tell his Bones that…._

He inhaled deeply, holding back his tears as his eyes registered every picture taken that day. It had been such a beautiful day, in more ways than one. He promised himself that they would do that again, as soon as she was out of the hospital, free from all the wires and machinery attached to her. He would take them – his son and his partner, to him the two most important individuals in the world… his two angels – to a place far away from hospitals, murderers and death and never ever let them go. Yes, that sounded like a great plan

He could hear her remarks again, imagined them, like he did so easily, and imagined how she would comment him on the lack of stability in his plan, there were murderers everywhere, though people tend to see it differently in other environments and cultures… hospitals were necessary everywhere and death wasn't to be cheated on. Plus, she would annoy him with the fact that it was unfeasible for her and Parker to be angels since angels didn't exist, or at least only in the mind of a religious man and then only when they were dead, but since they weren't dead it was simply impossible…

He smiled, knowing that these rational rambles would keep him going, keep him sane. He knew her this well, knew what she would say though he didn't understand half of it, he knew how she ticked, thought and talked, and still managed to surprise him so often

He tugged away the photos in his vest-pocket and sniffed, trying to get his mind round before starting to look through her drawers again.

He had gone through all her drawers except one by now, and he had found everything from photographs to biros to old files to scrabbled paper, all of it categorized neatly, typically Bones…

He smiled, mocking himself that he had even considered her to be sloppy. His Bones was tidy, organized and professional. Just as he liked her. He pulled open the last drawer and there it was, the case file, much too thick for his liking. He took it out and was surprised when he saw a small box wrapped in black wrapping paper underneath it. He rested the file on his lap and took out the present, looking at the side where silver letters were written. Tears stung his eyes as he read them. 'Happy birthday, Booth'. When was his birthday? Two months from now… that looked so far away now. Without his partner, every day seemed long. Never-ending even.

He inhaled deep, trying to hold back the tears threatening to fall. He stood up, tugging away the gift and taking the file. He walked out, deciding that he had let Zack wait long enough and walked over to his SUV. He unlocked the car and got in, sighing. He looked at Zack as he opened the door to the passenger seat and he knew Zack felt uncomfortable under Booth's intense stare "Is something wrong, agent Booth?"

"What are you doing?" Booth asked

"I'm… taking a seat" Zack said, confused

"Yeah, I can see that, but where?"

"the passenger seat"

"Right… and who normally sits on the passenger seat" Booth said

"Doctor Brennan, but-"

"_exactly_!" It's Bones's seat. _Not_ yours. _Bones's_." he said

"But-"

"No buts" He almost _pushed_ the boy out of the car, but Zack quickly came back in, taking his place on the back seat. Booth took out the mysterious black present out of his pocket and placed it on the seat beside him.

He stared at it for a couple of minutes, thinking back to their day on the funfair together, ignoring the squinty stare from the backseat

He inhaled sharply and looked away, too stubborn to shed any unnecessary tears in front of the boy as he started the car. He pulled away, trying to put that great day in the back of his mind. "Allons-y" he said, and started driving over to the crime scene awaiting him.

* * *

_**AN:**__ btw, I almost forgot, I'm looking for a beta-reader, but I don't want to intrude on anyone, so only do it if you want to, if you do, send a mail, I'd appreciate it  
_


	4. thank her

**Hi there my sweet doodlebugs! I know, it's been a while cough long while cough, but it's been really, really hectic at school... I know it sounds like the lamest excuse eva, but I'm tellin' ya, it ain't nothin' like that. I'm telling ya, this year is sooooo much harder than last year, and even then my updates were off... Anyway, here's the next installment of Burden of Sacrifice, I really, really hope you enjoy it!**

**(Beta-ed by the oh so lovely xHouseLoverx)**

**

* * *

**He could do this.

It was easy: just get out of the car, walk inside, and ask if they had found anything.

Something out of the ordinary... except a harpoon... or all the statues... or his partner's blood...

_God,_ he couldn't do this!

He couldn't just waltz in there, without remembering that his partner almost died in there. In _his_ arms. Telling him _those_ words… those three words which he had dreamed that she'd say to him over and over again. But not like this. _Never_ like this.

"Agent Booth?" Zack asked uncertainly from behind him, pulling him from his train of thought.

"Yeah, just give me a minute" Booth said harshly. _What was he so nervous about?_ It wasn't something he couldn't handle. It was a place, a room, a crime scene. Nothing he hadn't seen before. But still… this was where Bones almost died, where _his_ Bones almost died. Where she had told him that she loved him. This place was sacred to him, a place where both his happiest dream and his worst nightmare came true. A dream: their first real kiss, and a nightmare: their last. Never had he thought that those kisses would be one and the same…

_Oh, Bones…_

He jumped out of the car as he saw Hodgins walking by and ran after him.

He could do this…

"What's up, man?" Hodgins greeted, smiling slightly, with compassion and grief drawn in his eyes.

"As good as can be, I guess" Booth replied, burying his hands deep in his pockets, obliging himself not to look down or cry… or both.

"Hey, man, you don't _have_ to be here" he said, patting the agent on the shoulder lightly.

Booth opened his mouth to say something, to protest, but then realized that he had no idea what to say. He knew he didn't have to be there, but what could he do? Mope by her bedside? Pray? For the first time he didn't want to ask _God_ for help, didn't want _Him_ around at all… he wanted _her_. _Her_ and only_ her_. Besides, he wanted to be here. He wanted to catch this bastard. "How's Angela?" he asked, desperate to change the subject

"She's drained," Jack said, looking down. "After finally getting you away from Brennan's bedside and making you go to sleep," Booth cringed at his words, knowing that he hadn't slept at all, hadn't even thought about sleeping, but Hodgins didn't seem to notice. "she just sat at the same spot as you had" he sighed, taking something out of his kit and swiping some dirt from the floor. "I just brought her home a few hours ago, and she almost looked as bad as you did when we found you" he attempted to joke, but no one laughed. Nobody even smiled.

There would be time to smile when Bones woke up. _When_ bones woke up… not _if_… _when. _Then, and only then, would he be able to laugh again…

"Come on," Hodgins said and started making his way inside.

Booth followed, gazing around the wards which had been so dark last time he was there. White neon lights illuminated the rooms now, and Booth had to squint slightly at the bright light. Last time he was here it had been dark. He had had to watch where he set his feet, knowing that there could be traps anywhere. Also, the thought that Denzel could be watching them, could be there and could take his partner when he wasn't looking had overtaken him completely at that moment.

His dirty footprints were still there, next to the ones of his partner's. Anyone who didn't know they were trying to avoid traps and being seen, would think that they had been dancing, their footsteps making their way over to a door in an irregular, quick pace. What had looked like a threatening darkened room then, now looked like an ordinary hall in a warehouse, the floors dirty, the old paint peeling off of the walls slowly, like in every other empty warehouse he knew. Though he knew this warehouse was far from ordinary, and not only because this was where a serial killer had been hiding his latest victims, his trophies. No, to Booth, that was just another addition to the memories he would forever hold from this building. For him, this place was so much more than that. This was the place where he had lost his heart.

But that was irrelevant right now. He knew he shouldn't follow that train of thought, _wouldn't_, not if it would keep him from catching the son of a bitch who was responsible for all this. He had to stay professional, had to stay cold. There was always time later to weep, cry or mope. The only things important now were the here and now, catching Peters, and Bones. The rest could wait. For now.

The next room was small and made out of metal completely. There was a dirty makeshift bed with a blanket and cushion throw on it effortless and an empty plastic bottle of water standing forgotten in a corner. Nothing that could be used as a weapon.

He remembered that they had found the girl here. His next victim. He remembered how she had looked. Scared. No, terrified. Sitting in a corner in depression, her alarmingly scrawny arms – which once had been normal and slender – with deep, dark-red cuts standing out against her abnormally pale skin from trying to shield herself from the possible danger when he came in. He could almost see the frightened look in her eyes. The last look a prey shoots his predator before the attack. That's what he remembered. That and the look on _her_ face.

His eyes barely registered the wrecked door hanging half out of his frame through the tears blurring his vision. He cursed himself. _Stay professional,_ he repeated to himself over and over again in silence. And as he did so, the voice telling him sounded more like _her_ voice every time he repeated it, until it was her voice completely. But he didn't mind. Not at all. Because he knew that he would follow that voice blindly, knowing that she knew better, even in his thoughts. He didn't mind because of that reason and because there was a chance (a small one, but a chance nevertheless) that he'd hear that voice again one day, for real, and that hope would keep him going. Or at least he _hoped_.

He stared at the door, or what lay behind it, and swallowed. That room would be the worst part. He could still see it, the image that had engraved itself in his memory next to all others in that split second that he had paid attention to the room before following the paramedics who were desperately trying to revive his partner. The spear they had gotten out of her eventually, laying solemnly on the ground, blood still trickling down slowly. An enormous puddle of blood in the middle of the room and the light reflecting on it giving the marble statues surrounding it a pink glow. The bloody footsteps of the paramedics made a trail out to where he was standing and they couldn't have been bothered less that they were ruining a crime scene. And he couldn't have been bothered to tell them. Not with Bones' life at stake. He had followed one of the bloody trails with his eyes and to his own uneasiness, they had ended at his own feet. Suddenly he remembered his trousers were soaked. The fabric drenched against his skin with the blood of his partner, the blood of the woman he loved so deeply. He'd felt sick, tired and lightheaded. He'd known he would pass out any second, was expecting it, and the second before he almost gave in a sentence reached his ears, a sentence which had given him newfound strength and made him forget all about his discomfort; "We've got a pulse!"

He swallowed and looked at the door with only a few pieces of wood still attached and closed his eyes. He inhaled deeply and considered his options. Go in, or get out. No one would blame him, whatever he decided, no one but himself. He exhaled slowly, swallowed, opened his eyes and made his choice.

* * *

"I ah… I just came back from the warehouse. It's a real mess, blood and statues everywhere. But that wasn't what I hated most. It was the squints! How many are there? I'd never thought that much brain could be squished into such a small building, and, frankly, I didn't want to know. They were all talking in this techno-babble of theirs, well, yours too… honestly, I don't get how anyone understands it, you have to be crazy to try to learn all that squinty-jibber-stuff… no offense Bones…" Booth joked, giving his partner's hand a small squeeze. He looked at her pale frame and sighed sadly. He had no idea whether or not she could hear him, though he hoped she could. Hoped that she knew that he was waiting for her, that he wouldn't give up on her. Ever.

He reached out his hands towards her face and cupped it softly, bringing his face inches away from hers, and stared at her closed lids intensely, as if awaiting her to wake up any second now.  
She didn't.  
And he knew she wouldn't. Or at least not now.  
But someday, she would open those eyes and look at him with that squinty stare of hers, and would throw him a comment that would make him laugh because it was so typically Bones. But not now. Someday, but not now. "I'm waiting for you" he whispered, his forehead resting against hers, his eyes closed. He inhaled her scent and felt the soft red skin of her lips under his thumbs as he caressed them softly. Oh, how he wished could kiss them. Could kiss them and get a response. Whether she kissed him back or punched him, anything was better than this never-ending sleep.

The knock on the door startled him out of his thoughts. The knock was soft, deliberate even.  
But he didn't look up, relying on the thought that whoever it was would come in on their own initiative.  
But it stayed quiet, which was unusual when it came to squints or the other assertive personalities his partner was so familiar with.

He looked up slowly and didn't even care to wipe the tears out of his eyes as they rested on the young, pale girl standing in the doorframe.

He frowned as he stared at the frail girl who was nervously fidgeting with her jacket and he then made a pathetic attempt to smile as he was hit by a wave of familiarity.

MaryAnn Jones, Peters' latest victim and only survivor

She looked better now, her hair combed and skin scrubbed clean, with patches and bandages covering the scratches and scars and painful wounds he had seen merely hours before.  
_God, it hasn't even been a day since… No, don't think about it. Don't!_

He motioned her to come in and saw how she moved carefully towards him. Her eyes darted fearfully around the room and she looked ready to run as quick and as far away as possible if she had to.  
She didn't look anything like the girl in the pictures he had studied when she had been gone. The relaxed, fun and goodhearted teenager had made place for a jumpy, scared and distrusting person, barely more than a stray animal surrounded by torched villagers.

She stopped a good few feet away from him as her eyes rested on the bed and his frail partner. Compassion replaced fear for a millisecond in her eyes and they then jumped on him before deciding the woman asleep looked less threatening than the man watching her every move.

"Is she…" she began, but the rest of her words got lost in her thoughts and throat.

"She's sleeping" He said, trying to help her out.  
Sleeping… he liked that term. It was less discouraging, less depressing. Helped him think, no, _hope_ that she would wake up some day.

"When will she wake up?" she asked softly, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Some day…" he said, knowing he was filling both of them with false hope. "… we hope" he added morosely.

"Can she hear us?" she asked and he saw how her eyes started to fill with tears over a person she barely knew.

"I like to believe she does" He admitted and studied her closely. "You wanna talk to her?"

"No" she said slowly, deliberately, and looked away uncomfortably "Could I stay here?" she asked before she could reconsider.

He saw her blush and look away ashamed as if waiting for him to start yelling at her or tell her no. He smiled at her softly and took her hand in his, squeezing it slightly "I think she'd like some company" he said, and motioned her to sit down on one of the chairs

"Thank you," she said. "For saving me… and for letting me stay," she added softly.

"Don't thank me," he said and took his partner's hand in his. "She's the one who found you, she's the one who figured it out… hell, she's even the one who lets you stay here" he joked, and at the confused look she gave him, he added "I would've kicked you out by now, _she's_ the one who doesn't want to be alone with me!" he said, trying to sound offended, nodding sideways towards his sleeping partner.  
He saw a small smile curl up on the girl's lips that seemed to be missing there for quite a while now and it made him feel a whole lot better, even in his current situation. "So really, don't thank me. Thank her. Thank her as much as I thank God everyday that she is there to make my life _so _much better." He said, staring at his partners face as he felt tears forming in his eyes again.

He felt how she lay her hand on top of his hand which was entangled with Bones' and looked back at the girl to see that she too was crying "As soon as she wakes up, I'll thank her. Thank her for finding me. But now, I'm thanking you…Thanking you for believing she could." She let go of his hand and caressed her bangs out of her eyes before smirking slightly "and God of course, for sending me an angel to save me" she said

He smiled back at her, touched by the fact that she called his partner and angel. "Won't say that too loudly around her" he said, nodding towards his Bones "Or she'll go to autopilot and ramble your ears off about the naïve worshipping of higher powers or something"

"Really?" she asked, smiling slightly.

"Yeah! Once, she even called Jesus a zombie!" he exclaimed and started telling her one of the arguments they had had and had looked so annoying at the moment. And as he did, he couldn't help but steal glances at his sleeping partner, hoping those ridiculous arguments about alpha male tendencies, religion and sex-topics he'd never want to discuss with anyone, especially not _her,_ would never stop.


End file.
